In the beginning

I wish I was terribly clever. And funnier. Or maybe more creative.

I would like a way to lay out all of the infertility business in my life with such grace, humor and aplomb that you (and I) would be enraptured. However, the battery on my computer is going to die in a few minutes and I have not thought of anything terribly funny or clever, so I should just begin, eh?

I feel a bit like infertility snuck up on me, like a thief in the night. Not that I didn't know about infertility. I have two friends and a cousin-in-law who had been dealing with it in their lives. It's just that I figured that if I was infertile, I would only be a teensy bit infertile, you know? Just a little help, here and there. And then all would be right with the world.

Really, I didn't think that I had too much to worry about. I have always had regular periods. Really. You could set a calendar by me. Friends of mine who were having fertility issues always had issues with their periods, missed ones, ones happening too close together. Not me...24-26 days, rain or shine. The first incling that something was wrong was in 2002. I had gone in for a routine physical and the Dr. noticed that my abdomen was hard. She suspected uterine fibroids. I had never heard of such things, but working in the cancer field, I was a little disressed to realize that they were outgrowths of the uterus. I am really wary of things growing in one's body inappropriately. Assured that they were not cancerous, I was sent to have an internal ultrasound to verify the diagnosis. The ultrasound tech took a lot of images, pointed out some of the fibroids and I was on my way. I got a call a few days later that they had found a mass near one of my ovaries and wanted to perform an MRI to check it out. I met with some specialists (described as "excellent doctors, but not very friendly"-an apt description). I was sure that the MRI would show something rather innocuous and I would be on my way. Alas, it turned out that I had a endometrioma on my left ovary and it needed to be removed, lest it burst and cause me great pain. Well, not what I had hoped for, but it was fixable.

It was also my first major surgery, so I was more than a little scared.

I met with the Doctors that were going to perform the surgery. They asked if I just wanted a laparoscopy (just the poke holes with the camera--less invasive) or, if they saw anything more in there if they should proceed with a laparotomy. I had made my mind up after staying up all night with the after effects of the "bowel prep." "Do what you have to do. I don't want to come in for another surgery."

So they wheeled me into the OR with a wristband that said: possible cystectomy, ooectomy, hysterectomy.

They helped me move from the gurney to the OR table. I remember looking up at the big overhead light with the doctors and nurses in their scrubs and caps looking down on me. A doctor said, " We're giving you a sedative. You will feel like you just had a cocktail."

Yeah. Right.

What I felt like was that someone took my head and started spinning it around. After that, I don't remember anything.

To be continued....