Catching up

I can't believe it has been 7 months since the boys were born. SEVEN MONTHS!

There are so many blog posts that I thought that I would get to sooner. It seems that I have been in a fog. A sleepless, fun, exasperating fog.

I absolutely love my kids. And it has taken me nearly 7 months to say that: MY kids. Not just "the boys." It has taken me 7 months not to want to "correct" people when they say that J has my nose, or A has my hair. I still don't really feel like a parent. At least not what I thought a parent should feel like. Somehow I thought I would be smarter, a better nurturer, or that I would suddenly be endowed with a sense of what I should and shouldn't be doing for these boys.

As it turns out, I'm still just me. Messy, insecure, second-guessing me, except now I have two little ones that make me laugh when I'm in a bad mood and can remind me why "a mother's work is never done."

Good Lord I love these kids, but I may never sleep again.

A with his flirty smile



Happy J


Brothers

The best Christmas ever.

For the past 8 or so years, hubby and I have been at Christmas Eve Mass and said, "Maybe next year we will be here with a baby."

I don't remember anything about the Mass this year, except that two fussy babies that fell asleep in our arms before Communion. It was wonderful.

The next morning we gave them their first Christmas presents:

(This looks suspiciously like an ad...but it's not....)

A and J: Christmas morning, before the spit up!

Here I come again...

Ahh, hello everyone (anyone) who may still be out there and checking my blog.

I keep meaning to update/post/put down my thoughts, and I never seem to get around to it. Sorry about that. This blog has been a great outlet for me!

One of the problems is that my (wonderful) Mother in Law is living with us and helping us take care of the babies. She is our live in nanny, which is wonderful, wonderful, except that we live in a one bedroom apt. The kids sleep in a crib in our room, while she sleeps in the den. Where our computer is. Needless to say, it is kind of hard writing down your inner-most feelings when someone else is sitting in an armchair 5 feet from you watching TV.

Anywho, I have been trying to remember to take my laptop home from work, so I can at least blog on the couch. It is still only about 5 feet from my MIL, but at least it is in a different room. :)

So, to the lovely Wiseguy who kindly asked if everything is OK, yep, I'm still here. All is well. Still having my struggles. Still trying to check up on you all (I've become a *gasp* lurker!).

Hopefully, the holidays will give me more time to sit down and pull out this tangled web of thoughts in my head and lay them out before you like so much spaghetti. You must be thrilled, I'm sure ;)

'Till we meet again,

Brenda

Coming up for air

Hi Y'all.

Um, so it's been a while, eh?

So it's been 14 weeks since the boys arrived, and I THINK we may have a routine down now. Sort of. At least the boys go down at 6-7pm and stay down (usually) until 11pm-1am or so. That is a gianormous improvement from, well, since they were born.

I have about a thousand blog posts in me. I have been thinking about how having children has affected the way I think about my infertility (not too much has changed), about the egg donor, about being a mother of children conceived by egg donation and about being a mom in general. But, even though I finally have some time to post today, I think I am going to take a little more time to sleep or spend time with my husband.

I do have some pics of the boys. :)

Gator fans

J and A: 3 months

J and A: why it takes a thousand pictures to get one good one....

Quick update

Josh is home. Boys are hungy ALL the time. Trying to BF, but supplementing them both. Aaron has TERRIBLE gas..The smell will really knock the wind out of your sails...it would be funnier if it didn't cause him such consternation. After he eats (about 1.5 hours later) he wakes up and just cries and cries...It breaks my heart...except when it happens at 1:30am, then again at 4:30am, and again at 7:30 am, and again at... You get the picture.