A New Journey

So today is the day. Well, rather, tonight is the night.

I have spent so much time writing about where I've been, that I've neglected to say where I'm going.

Tonight I take my last birth control pill (or Irony Pills, as I have been calling them) and hope to soon get what will be my last period for nine months.

Wow. I can't believe I wrote that. Not the pill part, but the 9 months part. Of course, besting Aunt Flo is still something that will take a lot of science and prayers. Seemingly a dichotomy, but somehow fused in a complicated pattern of life and hope in my mind.

We are "starting" our journey to parenthood using donor eggs.

I say starting in quotes , because we have been on this journey for the last year now. Yes, exactly one year last November. I should, and will, post about that later. Now I am just a little overwhelmed.

We've been given a tentative schedule: take last b.c. pill on the 19th, wait for period. If I get my period (which I always do, I'm a champ in that department), I'll go in for bloodwork on the 22nd. If all looks good, I reduce the lupron injections in half compared to what I'm taking now, and start loading me up with estrogen. If THAT goes well, then the donor will start stimulating......she's estimated to go in for a check on the 1st of November, with a possible retrieval on Nov 13 or 14th. Of course these dates are not set in stone, and nothing here has ever worked according to MY timetable, so I'm trying to stay flexible in my mind (that sounds weird---like mind gymnastics or something).

I feel a small ray of hope that this journey brings....and a lot of fear. Fear that it wont work. Fear that if it does work I'll miscarry. Fear that I'll never be able to relax about this.