This one goes to 11...

Well, actually, these two almost go to 11. But that sounds less cool. Last ultrasound estimated the babies were 5 lbs 8 ounces and 5 lbs 1 ounce. That is the 99th and 97th percentile. That means BIG BABIES. Like, attack of the BIG BABIES. And they have a little over 5 weeks left to grow. Any guess as to how big they are going to be? I'm guessing around 7 lbs each. I just can't imagine they can keep up this kind of growth given they are being constricted by an increasing lack of space.

And, I am embarrassed to admit, I am ready to throw in the towel...at 32 weeks. I wondered if this would happen; if I would turn from "I am just so happy to be pregnant" to "Dear Lord, give me my body back." I know that this is the "normal" way things should happen....everyone I know IRL has described that near the end you just want to not be pregnant anymore. I just wondered if that happened to those of us who have had such a hard time getting pregnant. It's not that I thought that I would want to always be pregnant...I do actually want to be a parent. But some people relish their pregnancies through the delivery day. I thought I might be one of those people. I am not. I feel rather wimpy and ungrateful now.

Back from Florida!

Actually, we got back right at the end of April, but I have been too tired/lazy to post.

The baby shower was really nice; I didn't freak out or qualify everything I said with "if these babies make it."  Which, you know, would be kind of a bummer to everyone around me.

We purposely didn't register for any blue things on some advice I got from a co-worker.  He said that when people found out he was having a girl, EVERYONE bought him pink things unless they specifically got it off he and his wife's baby registry.  DH and I?  Blue out the wazoo.  And two of everything clothing-wise.  

I had a good time, got to see some of my high school friends and some aunts that I haven't seen in a few years.  

The rest of the trip, it seemed like DH and I were running around trying to see everyone.  Oh, and it was his Dad's birthday and our 11 year (wow) anniversary.  

I got reacquainted with sweet tea (ahhh, I LOVE sweet tea). But found out that I couldn't drink it; it either didn't agree with me, or I drank it too fast and then lost my dinner/lunch/whatever.  I'm sure that was for the best anyway, as caffeine is supposed to be at a minimum.  I just got DH to order some and I would take a few sips from his glass. 

In other news, I had an u/s last Wednesday and the boys seem to be doing well.  Both are in the 95% for weight: aprox 2.5 pounds each! [which reminds me, if you don't follow Mermaid's blog, go over there and give her some bloggy love.  Her twins were born just under 28 weeks due to a failure to thrive.  They seem to be holding their own, but I cannot even imagine what a stressful experience this must be for her and her DH.]

News like this makes me even more grateful for how well this pregnancy seems to be going.

I have been having a lot of practice contractions.  In fact, I am at home from work today because I just wanted to monitor how things were going.  I have to call the Dr's office if I get more than 4 contractions an hour.  Last night before I went to bed I was up to 3 an hour.  I drank a HUGE glass of water and went to bed. And then proceeded to get up every hour to pee.  When I got up this morning, I was having contractions again, so I decided to monitor and see if they got more frequent.  They seem to have settled down now.  I think I only had one or two in the past few hours.  I think I miss most of them because they are really so mild.  The ones last night were nothing to be trifled with.  They made me rather nauseous.  

So, I'm hoping for the best and trying to take it easy today.  I think all will be OK, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I may have to take off time from work earlier than I want to in order to keep contractions at bay.  That wouldn't be so bad if we won the lottery....

Boy, oh boy!

So we had the level II ultrasound yesterday AND got the amnio results (they may have been lost somewhere in the system, but our doctor's assistant was able to dig them up).

The results:

Two healthy babies: all chromosomes accounted for, no extra ones. And, both babies are BOYS :)

Hubby and I had secretly been hoping for one girl and one boy, but really, we are just grateful and overjoyed that I'm actually pregnant and that this pregnancy seems to be going well.

Both babies are kicking in a way that I can feel them and I am so excited by that! However, the other day I had a graduate student ask me if I could feel them kicking and what it felt like. When I replied, she responded that having something move in you was "gross."

After wanting to slap her upside of her head, I replied that if you knew you had a child in you, you wouldn't think it was gross. This has been something I had been hoping to feel for years, and I was reminded about how so many people take their fertility for granted.

So, no more Dr's appts for me for the next 4 weeks! I'll just keep praying that things keep moving in a positive direction :)

Still here

...and still getting over this monster of a cold. This nasty thing has been going around the lab where I work...no one is safe!

But I am getting better and my appetite is increasing, so that is good. In fact, after I finish typing this up, it's time for a snack!

Next week, actually next Tues I go in for the amnio. Am I nervous? Kind of. At this point I'm actually settling into the idea that I'm REALLY pregnant with two babies (and not just getting fat and irritable).

To let you know what leap this is for me, I'll let you know a little secret. I've actually given nicknames to the babies: bit and bot. Not that original, but that is just what keeps coming up in my mind. "Naming" them is a scary proposition for me. Up until this point in my life, I would have always told you I was an optimist. And I am: FOR YOU. Everything WILL work out well for you. Just not for me. Dang, that sounds harsh....

I guess I am still waiting for the proverbial "other shoe to drop." I was hoping that this would cease when I actually got pregnant. Then when I reached the 3 month milestone. Now, I am not sure that it ever will, but I am doing my best not to dwell on it. But I still realize that I keep a "healthy(??)"distance from the pregnancy.
In fact, some baby update-thingy suggested that at 15 weeks you should start talking to the baby to help strengthen the bond between the two of you. I almost passed out. I have only just gotten the courage to give them nicknames, let alone have a conversation with them.

I've always been a late bloomer, perhaps we'll start our "conversations" at little bit later :)

Throwing up at work is less fun than anticipated

I had been threatening to do this for the past three days, but on Friday I finally did the deed. Luckily there was no one in the bathroom with me. I don't really feel like trying to make an excuse for that one.

I also want to update the u/s results :)

Here it is w/ comments:

STATUS: Alive (me? or what they are looking at???)
NUMBER: Twin (I hate to quibble, but "twin" isn't a number....)
UTERUS: Fibroid (should read fibroids--I have a couple of them near my cervix)
OVARIES: Right normal, Left not seen ("normal" hahahahhahahahhahaaaa!)
INDICATIONS: Infertility, now pregnant; Advanced maternal age (gee, thanks for slapping that on there.....)

COMMENTS/SUMMARY: Two intrauterine gestational sacs with yolk sacs and embryonic heartbeats seen. 1/2 maternal right. 2/2 maternal left. The second sac is smaller with cloudy amniotic fluid, which is a negative prognosis.

FETAL HEART RATE (#1): 107 beats per minute
FETAL HEART RATE (#2): 105 beats per minute

The radiologist seemed to want to give her condolences about the second embryo. She kept saying that this didn't looked good, but "you never know."

The nurse upstairs was aghast that the radiologist would even put "negative prognosis." " What does she know? She cannot tell the future!" And then she went on to talk about how some Dr. at another clinic told her friend that her embryos for transfer looked ugly and that now she has two beautiful daughters. I wanted to say something about how the beauty of 8 cells does not reflect very much on the beauty of millions and millions of cells, but I refrained.

Hubby and I are very happy and are not worried about the second little one. We have worries about carrying twins. Whatever happens, we will work with it. All we want are healthy baby/ies.

The next u/s is on 8/23. The nurse said that they normally wait two full weeks, but since that will be the day after Christmas, she thought that it would be nice to know something before then. That was very kind of her. I think that she was trying to give us quicker info on the fate of the second little one. We also meet with the RE after the ultrasound. The nurse already talked to us about finding an OB.

Dang! This is the fastest/slowest/strangest rollercoaster ride I have ever been on.

U/S update

Just a quick note since I am at work. We had the 6 week ultrasound today. The results: 2 little embryos with heartbeats! One looks better than the other, which is smaller and the amniotic fluid seems "cloudy" to the radiologist. The prognosis for the smaller one is not optimal. Actually the wording on the sheet sounds considerably less optimistic for the smaller one. I'll post more about the results when I have the paperwork in front of me at home.

I am so, so relieved. And it was wonderful having my husband there with me as we strained to make out the little heartbeats. And we had a wonderful ultrasound tech to explained everything to us as we went along.

Thanks so much to everyone for leaving comments on the last post; it's so nice to have a place to vent.

I'll update later tonight with more details :)

Beta Blast

I'm at work and just got the call. I am trying to write this surreptitiously so as not to attract attention to myself:

15dp3dt or 18dpo:

beta=1316 yikes!

I go back in on Wednesday and we are looking for a 66% increase; so the goal is 2185.